hannahfishie:

batmansleftnipple:

skylarghost:

cloud-bending:

Water, Carbon, Ammonia, Lime, Phosphorous, Salt, Saltpeter, Sulfur, Fluorine, Iron, Silicon, and trace amounts of 15 other elements.

I can do it.

I’m going to make myself a girlfriend using alchemy. 

YOU CAN’T TRANSMUTE A HUMAN WITH AN ORANGE AND A PACKET OF CHIK-FIL-A RANCH DRESSING

well with that attitude you cant

omfg

I’m with you bro…. worst that can happen is that I see the ‘truth’

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

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The best way involves a Master Ball

I’m coming to you, Sokka! 

yellowkiwi:

oh dear god

collegehumor:

So my girlfriend has got into the habit of giving me oral whenever I get a important phone call in. She thinks it funny as I try to keep a solid tone of voice. Little does she know there is a fake call application that shows name of caller and everything and you can even schedule a time for it to call. Needless to say I have been having fake conversations with a app and get head now on demand pretty much.

Read more Dating Stories

I feel scientifically curious, so I’m sending out an application for who ever wants to be my girlfriend. For Social Research purposes

Full name:

Age:

Race:

Eye color:

Hair color:

Interest:

Hobby:

Looks for in a guy:

Longest relationship:

Goals:

Level of freaky-ness on scale of (1-10)

Rate me (1-10)

Were you once a man, check answer: [yes] [no]

Bra Size:

{insert picture here}

Message, but even likes will be at least checked. No under 18 girls, I’m 21.

Just do it!

For Valentine’s day